One Simple Thing Families Can Do to Restore Unity in America

There’s so much talk in the news right now about how we can unite as a country at a time when we’re more divided than ever. Often, we turn to policy to answer this question. But it’s so much bigger than that.

And while the problem is big, I believe it’s actually the little things that we do in our own families that will ultimately lead to the change that will result in the unity of our country.

You have to change culture before you can change policy.

There is one thing at the very top of the list that I want to draw attention to. I firmly believe that if American families committed to doing this one thing, it would significantly aid in bringing peace to the weary soul of our nation.

We are living in a time where hustle is glorified. Where distractions are endless. Somewhere between the time I was growing up to now, as I raise my children, we have become a society that is always trying to keep up.

Maybe it’s the rise of convenience: cell phones, online shopping, apps, ohhhh the apps! — all designed to make our lives easier, but have become tools that have created a false sense of urgency.

How many times have you picked up your phone to make an appointment only to get distracted by a little red notification on your child’s sports app? If you’re like me, you feel that urgency to check to make sure you haven’t missed something. You check the app only to find that it’s the parent group chat discussing the next team meal, which reminds you that you need to contribute.

So you sign up and add a few things to your shopping list. Done. You put your phone down, totally forgetting about why you picked it up in the first place — to make that appointment.

Or how about online shopping and next-day delivery? Don’t get me wrong, it’s saved me more times than I care to admit. However, I have eyes to see how it’s led me to have a real materialistic outlook, too. How many times have I decided that I needed a new dress before that event coming up in a few days, even though I have five perfectly good dresses that I’ve only worn once before?

Text messages, emails, app notifications, and alerts have all inadvertently caused us to become tethered to our phones. This reality of feeling like we must always be available leads to a feeling of pressure to keep up.

Online shopping and next-day delivery have contributed to an increase in materialism and the need for instant gratification.

And then there’s the 24/7 news cycle, YouTube, YouTube shorts, Facebook Reels, and the list goes on. There is no “off” button. Of course, one could argue that it’s up to us to use some self-control. I wholeheartedly agree. And many of us do.

But now more than ever, we’re consuming sound bytes, reels, and shorts that never end. Anyone can post anything. And often, the content I’m seeing is mindless and pointless.

We need to replace reels and shorts with a desire to study, learn, and grow.

We need to replace a culture of hustle with a culture of curiosity.

Replace distraction with purpose.

Replace instant gratification with patience.

Replace pressure with peace.

So how do we do that?

I believe we do it by prioritizing rest in our own families.

We are uniquely designed for rest. Our God made us for rest. God Himself rested, and commands us to do the same.

And even more importantly, he made rest holy (Genesis 2:2–3).

We see many times throughout scripture where Jesus goes away to a private place and rests. In one of my favorite passages, Mark 4:36–41, Jesus departs (with his disciples) from the crowds to rest. Then he performs one of his greatest miracles upon waking up.

In Mark 6:31, Jesus sees that his disciples are weary and encourages them to follow his example and make time to relax and rest.

Maybe you’re wondering how to make rest a priority.

It’s not so much how you do it as your reason behind it. The kind of rest I’m speaking about is the kind that brings you real peace. A pause in your daily grind to refocus your heart, mind, and soul.

God commands rest because rest is good and He only commands that which is good for us.

So, when you are thinking about ways to prioritize rest in your family and in your home, make sure that it’s the kind of rest that makes way for His presence, which will naturally bring you the peace that only He can provide.

I think what you’ll find is that you’ll respond rather than react.

You’ll notice more — the beauty around you, the blessings, the areas in your life that may need attention, or the people in your life who may need more of you.

You will feel gratitude. And you’ll know Who to thank because you’ll know where it came from.

What does that look like for your family? Comment below and tell me how you incorporate rest in your home!

What Is Grace, Anyway?

Let’s break it down!

To answer this question, we first need to understand that, according to Catholic Tradition and teaching, there are two types of grace: Sanctifying Grace and Actual Grace.

Let’s begin with Sanctifying Grace since that one technically happens first.

To sanctify means to be made holy. And the word grace is defined as the free and undeserved gift from God.

I once had a dear Protestant friend tell me that she had never seen an infant baptism and asked me what it was like. At the time, I didn’t know how to answer her — I thought all babies were baptized.

However, I now understand that the primary difference between the Catholic understanding of Baptism and the Protestant understanding lies in the supernatural change that occurs during the sacrament.

All human beings are born in the image and likeness of God, but because of the Fall (Adam and Eve in the Garden, the apple … you may be familiar with the story), we are born with original sin.

This sin is not of our doing, but is actually Adam and Eve’s fault! Because they are our ancestors, we are born with sin.

And this is exactly why Catholics baptize infants! During the sacrament of Baptism, sin is literally wiped away. Further, the infant is infused with Sanctifying Grace.

This supernatural transformation of the infant’s soul makes him or her a child of God, which will then provide him or her with the foundation to receive Actual Grace as he grows in age and wisdom.

Which leads us to the second type of grace that occurs in a child of God, or a Baptized person — Actual Grace.

Have you ever felt that nudge to push you to do something outside your comfort zone to benefit someone else?

Maybe you’re in a hurry and notice a little elderly woman struggling to put groceries in her car. Though it may make you late, you decide to stop to help the woman. Something inside of you urges you to put your own needs aside and put those of someone else first.

Maybe you’re drinking your coffee in the morning, and instead of scrolling Facebook, you feel a strong desire to say a prayer for someone in need.

These are examples of God’s grace working inside of you — also known as Actual Grace. It comes from outside of you (God) and causes you to act in a way that is pleasing to Him.

Sources

https://www.catholic.com/tract/grace-what-it-is-and-what-it-does

What My 10-Year-Old Taught Me About God's Mercy

In light of the recent tragedies over the past few weeks, there have been lots of conversations happening in our home. Hearts are heavy, and we’re left wondering where to go from here.

Particularly, we’re left wondering what we can do as Catholics, as Christians.

I’ve pondered this question. My husband and I have talked with our children about it. We know the world is broken and full of sin. We’ve discussed how evil can infiltrate hearts and minds over time and through various means.

But it was a question from my youngest that completely opened my eyes to a key aspect of our faith that I had almost forgotten.

He had just come in from playing outside. He plopped down on the couch as I walked around tidying up the house. Conversation surrounding current events had become commonplace over the last few weeks, and they were happening even while I tended to household chores.

I can’t remember what preceded his question now, just the question itself that will forever be etched on my heart.

He looked up at me with his big, blue eyes and asked, “What will happen to the man who killed Charlie Kirk?”

Without hesitation (and to my embarrassment), I replied, “He’s going to Hell.”

See, I had heard talk of authorities pursuing the death penalty. I had seen people I respected calling for the death penalty. I was so hurt by the evil that this man had done that I almost subconsciously went along with the world and assumed his fate.

It was my 10-year-old son’s response that changed my heart and reminded me of what I knew but had so quickly forgotten.

He said, “You don’t know that, Mom.”

I stopped in my tracks. I put the kitchen towel down on the coffee table and sat next to him, asking him to explain.

He went on to tell me how his teacher had shared with him and his classmates a story of two great saints, Maria Goretti and Alessandro Serenelli. He told me how Alessandro had killed the innocent, 11-year-old Maria, but that before she died, she forgave her killer and expressed that she wanted him in Heaven with her forever.

After Maria’s death, Alessandro went on to serve a 30-year sentence. One night, six years into his prison sentence, Maria appeared to Alessandro in a dream. She appeared in a garden, picking 14 white lilies, and handed them to him one by one. This gesture of love and forgiveness was the beginning of Alessandro’s transformation and conversion.

His behavior became so docile, and his transformation was so dramatic, that he was released three years early. Shortly after his release, he sought out and received the forgiveness of Maria’s mother. He eventually joined the Capuchin Franciscans and, as a lay brother, worked as a gardener, porter, and general laborer. He died in the peace of Christ, with the love and admiration of those who knew him, at the Cappuchin convent at Macerata, Italy, on May 6, 1970 (mariagoretti.com).

It wasn’t that I didn’t know the power of repentance and of God’s love and mercy. It wasn’t that I didn’t know that there is hope for all souls who repent and radically reorient their lives to Jesus Christ.

It was that I had been so focused on worldly things that I had forgotten.

But praise God, it was the childlike faith of my fifth-grader that refreshed my soul and fixed my eyes back on Christ and His redeeming love.

It was his teacher who taught a lesson with the love of Christ, which poured into my son’s soul and, therefore, my soul.

It was the Body of Christ at work.

So, it leads me back to my original question: where do we go from here?

My answer?

We pray. We pray like we believe. We pray like we know its power. We pray for the souls of the innocent. And we pray for the souls of the wicked. We pray for conversions.

We love our enemies. We forgive like Jesus did on the cross. And we keep sharing stories of His love and mercy.

“Have you no fear of God, for you are subject to the same condemnation? And indeed, we have been condemned justly, for the sentence we received corresponds to our crimes, but this man has done nothing criminal.” Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” He replied to him, “Amen, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise.” (Luke 23:40–43)

SOURCES

mariagoretti.com

A Letter in Response to Recent Tragedies

Charlie Kirk took his mission to “make disciples of all nations” (Matthew 28:19–20) seriously. Catholics and Non-Catholic Christians — this is our mission, too.

He shared the gospel fearlessly and boldly. His political beliefs and values were a direct result of his Christian values.

Charlie Kirk knew this: God is Love. God is Truth.

As a result of his deep devotion to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, years of studying who God is, and his obedience to God, Charlie Kirk answered God’s call to share the gospel and make disciples of all nations.

Was he always perfect in his delivery? No. Did he make mistakes? Of course.

Just like you and me, he was an imperfect person.

But he was loved perfectly by God the Father — just like you. Just like me.

I’ve seen social media posts highlighting the difference between political violence and gun violence. This difference is inconsequential. Both are violent. Violence is the rotten fruit of hate. Hate is the opposite of Love. Hate is not of God. Let’s agree on this.

I’ve seen posts about how Charlie Kirk was known for inciting hate. Often in our political discourse, correction is mistaken for hate or intolerance.

If there is one standard for Truth and one source of Love (spoiler alert: there is!), then anything else that doesn’t meet that standard falls short. Love doesn’t mean acceptance of things that are not of God. Often, Love looks like a firm correction and redirection in what is good and right and true.

Take parenting, for instance. I know that God calls us to be honest and trustworthy (Proverbs 12:22). So, as a mom, when I catch one of my children in a lie or being dishonest, it is my job to correct them. I do this out of love for them. I know that raising them to be trustworthy, honest adults will bring them true happiness in the long run.

Do I expect my children to be perfect? No. But do I take my job seriously in guiding them towards the truth? Yes.

I’ve seen social media posts calling for stricter gun laws. Similar to pulling weeds, our efforts are fruitless unless we go for the root. The root of the problem is evil. Do I think our gun laws are perfect? No. Is there room for improvement? Absolutely. Am I pro-Second Amendment? Absolutely.

Let’s agree on this — the person who pulled the trigger and shot Charlie Kirk or Melissa and Mark Hortman or the innocent children praying at Mass are not the same as the people who rushed the cockpit on Flight 93, taking the terrorists head on, preventing them from hitting their target. They are not the same as the children who dove on top of younger students to protect them during the Annunciation shooting.

It’s the difference between cowardice and heroism. It’s the difference between hate and love. Between lies and truth. The difference between Satan and God.

So, if you find yourself feeling compelled to comment on a social media post that misses the point or one that is filled with hate and vitriol, respond with love. And remember this:

God is Love and God is Truth. When we respond in love with these two things in mind, we will always win.

Charlie did it. We can do it, too.

The Day I Discovered God (My Reversion Story)

It was my junior year of college. I still remember the sinking feeling in my stomach as I sat in my bedroom in the house I shared with four of my closest college roommates. I don’t recall exactly what I was doing at that particular moment, but the feeling inside of me is one I will never forget.

On the verge of tears, an intense feeling of loneliness, fear, and anxiety enveloped me. I had never experienced anything like it before.

Up to that point in my college career, I was having the time of my life. I was studying hard (being a student always came fairly easily to me), excelling in my classes, staying up partying way too late, and sleeping until Noon on the weekends. Life was good. Life was … easy.

I had spent the first two years of my college career living in a dorm, where I was constantly surrounded by my peers. The halls were always filled with people coming and going, laughter, music, and a strong sense of community.

We were all on the same page, per se, as full-time students with lots of free time on our hands and very little responsibility.

Fast forward two years, and here I was sitting in my bedroom all alone in a house that suddenly felt cold and way too quiet. As college juniors, my roommates and I were on completely different schedules, which meant we were rarely home at the same time.

And as juniors, we were entering into our core classes to complete our degrees. This meant that the work was getting more demanding and graduation was within sight.

And suddenly here I was, feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders.

I knew what was happening. I was beginning to feel the pressure of entering adulthood. Life outside of college. The real world.

Enter: Anxiety.

I was raised Catholic, a “Cradle Catholic” as they say. I received all of the sacraments. I grew up going to Mass every weekend, and even went with my parents often to Mass at the parish next to my university. I didn’t mind going to Mass, but I admit I did find it a bit boring.

But on this particular day, something happened that completely transformed my faith and my relationship with the Lord.

As I sat on my bed with tears flowing, I suddenly knew exactly where I needed to go to calm my fears and anxiety.

To this day, I know it was by the grace of God through the Holy Spirit that I was moved to stand up, grab my coat, and walk to the church next to the university.

And that’s what I did.

I simply walked through the doors of St. Thomas More, found the nearest pew, and collapsed with tears flowing.

The church was empty at this time of day. It was just me.

My anxiety slowly melted away and was replaced with a peace that only comes from the Lord. An indescribable peace.

I innately knew that everything was going to be okay.

Before that day, I didn’t have a relationship with the Lord.

But I believe to my core that the grace I had received from the Sacraments, the Holy Eucharist, and weekly Mass, moved me to walk to the nearest Catholic Church.

And when I got there, I felt the presence of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. I was truly transformed that day.

It was on that day that I discovered that I needed God. It was on that day that I began my own personal journey with God. And from that day on, my relationship with Him has been at the center of my life. And that was just the beginning.