It was my junior year of college. I still remember the sinking feeling in my stomach as I sat in my bedroom in the house I shared with four of my closest college roommates. I don’t recall exactly what I was doing at that particular moment, but the feeling inside of me is one I will never forget.
On the verge of tears, an intense feeling of loneliness, fear, and anxiety enveloped me. I had never experienced anything like it before.
Up to that point in my college career, I was having the time of my life. I was studying hard (being a student always came fairly easily to me), excelling in my classes, staying up partying way too late, and sleeping until Noon on the weekends. Life was good. Life was … easy.
I had spent the first two years of my college career living in a dorm, where I was constantly surrounded by my peers. The halls were always filled with people coming and going, laughter, music, and a strong sense of community.
We were all on the same page, per se, as full-time students with lots of free time on our hands and very little responsibility.
Fast forward two years, and here I was sitting in my bedroom all alone in a house that suddenly felt cold and way too quiet. As college juniors, my roommates and I were on completely different schedules, which meant we were rarely home at the same time.
And as juniors, we were entering into our core classes to complete our degrees. This meant that the work was getting more demanding and graduation was within sight.
And suddenly here I was, feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders.
I knew what was happening. I was beginning to feel the pressure of entering adulthood. Life outside of college. The real world.
Enter: Anxiety.
I was raised Catholic, a “Cradle Catholic” as they say. I received all of the sacraments. I grew up going to Mass every weekend, and even went with my parents often to Mass at the parish next to my university. I didn’t mind going to Mass, but I admit I did find it a bit boring.
But on this particular day, something happened that completely transformed my faith and my relationship with the Lord.
As I sat on my bed with tears flowing, I suddenly knew exactly where I needed to go to calm my fears and anxiety.
To this day, I know it was by the grace of God through the Holy Spirit that I was moved to stand up, grab my coat, and walk to the church next to the university.
And that’s what I did.
I simply walked through the doors of St. Thomas More, found the nearest pew, and collapsed with tears flowing.
The church was empty at this time of day. It was just me.
My anxiety slowly melted away and was replaced with a peace that only comes from the Lord. An indescribable peace.
I innately knew that everything was going to be okay.
Before that day, I didn’t have a relationship with the Lord.
But I believe to my core that the grace I had received from the Sacraments, the Holy Eucharist, and weekly Mass, moved me to walk to the nearest Catholic Church.
And when I got there, I felt the presence of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. I was truly transformed that day.
It was on that day that I discovered that I needed God. It was on that day that I began my own personal journey with God. And from that day on, my relationship with Him has been at the center of my life. And that was just the beginning.